Viewer Questions & Comments

[Response to Viewer Questions & Comments on Dirty Dishes]

Dear Devoted Cook Fan,

Hello to you!  Thanks for sending me your e-mail.  I love hearing from people–especially from those who are sweet and kind to this ole gal!

Where have I/we been?!–cooking in other locations!  Yes, taking on more hours elsewhere; plus, care-giving for the impaired and elderly.  That’s what we do at Skirt in the Kitchen–we’re care-givers, community workers, and just family people–not just greasy cooks and delicious bakers, devoted moms and busy gardeners!…

As to cake and pie–pie is certainly on the order ticket!  I hope you like gooseberries; better yet, strawberries!

A summer vacation?–No, but I wish…  I’m still loving summer, though!

Take care, keep enjoying your summer, too.

Love to you from Skirt in the Kitchen

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Dear Miserable in Idaho,

First of all, these arms and hands extend a hug to you.  Don’t be miserable–choose not to be no matter how difficult the situation is/can be.  Remember that you always have a choice and that you are tough enough to make a choice for the good of your well-being and happiness.  There can be and will be times when we feel that we are trapped in a situation beyond our control, and it might just take a while until we can find a solution, but be assured that there is a solution somewhere in the haystack.  You will find that answer, you will!  Our timing is not always the appropriate time to make a change but keep the patience and strong endurance for the time-being until such a change can be/is made.  

Since this is affecting your health, your family because of your emotions and (probably) lack of energy, yes, you must make a change.  But again, you might have to wait a bit longer until you get a clear and honest answer inside yourself as to what exactly you should do in order to make a change in your career field to rid yourself of unhealthy stress.

Have you thought of down-sizing, perhaps, just so you can make that change–cutting corners?  Maybe you’ve already done that.  There are options outside your career that you’ve worked in so that you can make a living doing something entirely different.  Think outside the box if need be.  You don’t have to be stuck inside a pattern just because every Dick and Jane said to get a career and live with it.  One of the joys of getting older is changing our routes–in the way we want to make our lives better–oftentimes including the big career-job change that might not be part of the in-crowd.  Get resourceful and think of the options that are available in your reach that might not pay as much, but might be much better for you and your family in the long run.  Your health, happiness, and time with family matter far more than a dollar bill even though it takes money to keep the lights on.  It’s your choice, no one else’s.

As for your boss being a prick, remind yourself that you’re better than that, that he or she is making a horse’s butt out of himself or herself.  Go to that peaceful place, find it, and when you’re getting mistreated through harsh words or whatever that your boss tries to apply, you’ll feel less the affect in order to get pass the ordeal.  It’s temporary.  Get through a temporary moment with guts and determination, then push the door open and leave it behind.  Find where you’re meant to go, get on the ball with it, don’t haste too quickly but don’t waste time.  Time waits for nobody.  It’s your life, and your family’s life depends on your availability and involvement in their lives.  Yes, you need to take good care of them, and you can do that in a different way than what you’ve had to be accustomed to that’s been harmful to your health and happiness and that of your family’s.  You have what it takes!  My hands clap in applause for you.

Love and well wishes from Skirt in the Kitchen

Susan Nuyt,

Hi, how are you doing?  By the way, I think you’re a cool lady.

I want to ask you something.  Do you think there’s really such a thing as balance?  What is ‘balance’, anyway?  I don’t think it’s realistic.  I’m a guy and I have to do all the work that my wife should be doing, or at least part of.  Oh, and by the way, I’ve confronted her about it a time or two.

I come home from work and WORK my ass off at home, TOO, just to do HER work.  You know, I could not do anything at home, but I’m NOT a slob.  My mom was the Mrs. Cleaver of our family. I’m used to having a clean home all my life but I married somebody who obviously didn’t have the same kind of mom that I had.  Don’t believe everything you hear about us guys.  Not all of us sit at home in front of a game with a beer in our hand.  Some of us do work, and we work really hard at this thing that we call ‘balance’.  It’s all an act when you think about it.  It’s an understatement.  My wife doesn’t appreciate me.

Her B—-”

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Dear Her B—-,

(Smile!)

I don’t know how to address this entirely.  There could be two sides to the coin, here, but I hear and feel your frustration when one spouse is expected to do all the work away from the house and in the house.  That’s never good.  The good thing, though, is that you’re being good.  A lot of wives don’t have the kind of husband that will clean a fork!

Here is the question I must ask:  Has your wife gone through emotional hurt or loss of family/loved ones?  Has she suffered the death of a child?  Is there an illness that has not been taken into account?  Are there small children at home who demand her time and attention?  If there is a “yes” to any of these questions that I am asking, then help her in another way–in the way of getting back to where she needs to be or getting well–if there is an emphatic “no” to any of these, you just might have married a person on the lazy side when it comes to house work or somebody who lacks the interest and desire for items to go in certain places for there to be an orderly, functional home life.

Here’s a question further:  Does she work outside the home?  If she does, she might be “too tired” to work after work hours.  Everybody’s different. Your energy level might out-do hers.  And maybe you have more zest than she does because you’re put together that way by genetics.

Here’s what my firm belief is:  If a wife stays home, it should be her job to keep the house up–at least make an honest effort and find a way to work hard at the task.  If she works outside the home, then I think it should be a joint effort between both spouses to get the house clean and keep it that way more often than not.  If at home with babies/young children, that’s a full-time job, so daddy-duty at home would be helpful and appreciated.

Resentment can easily eat up a marriage when only one person does the physical labor.  It’s highly disrespectful when it’s intended by a spouse to dump all the work onto the other.  It shows, and proves, lack of love.  That’s what I think and believe, anyway.  It’s as bad as a big spender poofing all the profits away from accounts.

I’m not a marriage counselor.  Take my word for what you want and dig deep into your memory as to why you married your spouse and go on those good qualities that you chose her for.  Find a workable and active solution to the problem and be gentle with words when you speak them to her, even when you feel like telling her that she’s being a lard, lol– get the humor and don’t be too serious about something that will collect dust.  DO expect her to be involved, not through forced action, but be giving to get work done in a different mode or way.  You might be too giving in the “b—-” department!  See?–you can laugh and find a way through this.  She’s bound to be the hottie that you married, even if it means that you have to figure out how to win her over again in order to get her to sweep a floor.  Yes, I know you’re frustrated and you’re most likely over-worked.  Do find time for yourself to breathe, put down the broom, and if you have to–hire it done if she utterly will not help you.  Unfortunately, you might have to spend some pennies or dimes, just shop around for the best rate so it won’t be too costly if you want your home to be a clean one.  Either way, reach an agreement with her.  It’s her house, too.  The middle road is somewhere.

Thanks for writing, and thank you for your compliment.  It’s commendable for your hard work and devotion.

Love and Best Wishes,

Skirt in the Kitchen

Dear Stressed and Maxed Out,

Matthew 6:25–“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

It is human for us to worry, but it is not wise.  This might be easier said than done, but we can take our worries, all our problems, to the Lord in prayer.  If you don’t feel better after one prayer, one quiet time, try and try and try again another time and keep talking in thought and in heart to that somebody who does listen to all our woes and worries of the day.  We don’t have to carry them into night, into the waking hours that rob us of our sleep and good night’s rest.

If you don’t believe in God, then exercise the thoughts and feelings of what makes you happy every time there is that gush of hard stress that overtakes you when it doesn’t have to be pressing.  Even though it is normal to feel a heaviness at times, it is not meant for the heaviness to linger. Our bodies and temples inside our hearts are the talebearers of what we believe in and what we think.  Our actions speak those words that we keep inside if we put a lid on our thoughts and feelings for long.  To choose health, good health, choose good thoughts and a peace within that have the ability to restore any brokenness.

For comfort:  John 14:27–“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

Take time out for yourself on a regular basis with friends/and or family.  On the flip-side, it might be better to be alone–without a man in your life at the moment.  If you don’t have a dog or a cat, maybe getting one will bring a comfort.  A pet can be more of a comfort and devotion than a human at times.

Being busy always seemed to be of help, for me.  It took/takes my mind off things.  Therefore, I don’t let myself get too boggled by situations out of my control.  Life is easier that way, even in a hectic world.  Get yourself some TLC by not caring so much, to the point that it’s too much, about the ins-and-outs of daily life.

I hope this is of some help and comfort from a listening ear.

Prayers and love to you,

Susan

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“Dear Skirt in the Kitchen,

I can’t tell you enough how much I’ve enjoyed your blog.  Thanks for being my muse.  It’s my cup of coffee each and every morning.  And when you don’t have a new post, I go back and re-read and look at the beautiful pictures you take and post.

What made you begin to blog in the first place?  What’s your inspiration besides your dad (and your mom who is a regular contributor now)?  Do you think you will get more contributors on your blog?  Do you want to keep it family only?

Inspired”

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Dear Inspired,

I appreciate your sweet words, and they are of encouragement to me.

Yes, I’ve thought of adding another contributor, possibly more than two or three.  For now, I am content with hearing from my mother!  She’s got a lot of wisdom under her belt and many comforting words that are inspirational to read.  Who knows what I will do in the way of contributors…  It’s on up the road.

A little over five years ago, I started on my blog simply from people asking for recipes, then asking, “Do you have a blog where I can find a collection of your recipes?”  I got to thinking.  I knew nothing about blogging, and still don’t to a large degree!–[It’s more complicated than you think.]

I’ve been slammed with, “A little kid can blog.”  Oh, I’ve heard it--from those without a clue as to what it’s all about.  There’s much more entailed than just writing and taking pictures if you want to earn some cash.  It takes a lot of time—years.  It requires more than passion and interest, dedication, too.  Luck might have a lot to do with it–if there’s such a thing, but mostly, time.

It’s true that my inspiration comes from my parents, my children (family), and that of my own interests and qualities that the Lord has given me.  I feel blessed in a number of ways to be able to relate to people.  I love this little space of the internet that I can say has my stamp all over it! I’ve been inspired by family and from people who I’ve met and worked with–even from those who have affected me negatively because I somehow found a way to override those incidents and make them into something valuable.

I also reach and maintain the main inspiration from above.  I feel like the Lord is in every measure of all things touched, imagined, and lived through–that’s just my personal belief and feeling on matters.  Thank you for asking.

It’s been a pleasure visiting with you.  You’ve inspired me as well.

Love and happiness from Skirt in the Kitchen