Pants Chilletti

I cooked in the kitchen with– “my old man”— my husband.  Do you really think he did all of this himself?– No!  We thought of the same things throughout the entire process.  It was fast, quick; it was great.  It was sex in the kitchen.  The countertops cracked, busted, then crumbled and fell all over the vintage linoleum, and we were the last to fall but in a split-second, I frantically grabbed ahold of the rungs on the upper cabinets. The ceiling fan hurled down onto the stove from the blades needing to be screwed, giving my husband a scalping as it burned my elbow with scalding acidic tomato sauce because we fell over onto the side of the kitchen where the edge of the counter meets the stove; clumsy husband that he is, like a refrigerator as wide.  I was hanging on with one hand on a rung, no love handles to grab.  I should be mashed or smashed potatoes by now but I’m not as soft as a ripe avocado.  

Alright, alright, alright, a l r i g h t — There was no sex, lol.  It was absolutely boring (lol again), it was simply cooking together.  I know, I’m just that– a stinker and his biggest headache even though he can be the butt of my day…  I’m aware of what buttons to push to get what I want and need if I must, don’t be fooled.  I like being annoying, a complete “A”-double-“S”… Lol…  Did I previously mention that I found a pair of clean mismatched socks for him to wear today?  Do you believe that?!  They’re both gray, a match, right?!…

Bring water to a boil in a large pot to cook thick spaghetti noodles al denté.  The thick noodles are better for this than angel hair pasta.  

Brown 1 1/2 pounds to 2 pounds ground beef with 1 yellow onion.  Drain the grease but keep a little.  Add salt and freshly ground black pepper.  With the back of a large heavy spoon, break whole stewed tomatoes– a medium can, juice included.  Add 1 15 1/2-ounce can dark kidney beans and 1 15 1/2-ounce can tomato paste.  Add seasoning and spices little by little to taste for preference of smoked paprika, ground adobo, chili powder, Siracha hot sauce, ketchup, habanero sauce, ground oregano and basil.  Toss to coat, a little at a time so spaghetti is saturated without having too much pasta stirred into the sauce.  This meal is a cross between Italian spaghetti and chili; it’s neither but a mixture of both.  I actually like it better than spaghetti.